How to get your child to discover their values

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You’ll learn on this page how your children can find out their values. While this may intimidate them, we should explain it in the most straightforward language. After all, our values are the things we care about in our lives. These things, however, vary from child to child. For some children, friendships are essential; for others, success; health; for others, fun is more important. We know that we enjoy life more when what we do is connected to our values. If achievement is the most important thing for a child and gradually they stop going to school, affecting their grades, then they will start to enjoy life less and could become depressed. One way to teach your child to discover their values is by asking them to answer the questions below:

1) "What would I like my life to be like in 10 years?"

When they close their eyes and imagine what would make them happier if their life changed in ten years? Who would be with them? What would they do?

2) "If I were on stage at 40, how would I want them to introduce me?"

What would they want people to say about them on stage? What would they wish they had done by that age?

3) "How would I like to be remembered after I die?"

For example, they were helpful, very successful, a perfect parent, or someone who helped everyone. These are just a few examples. How would they want to leave their mark on this world?

4) "What am I happy doing and lose track of time?"

Is it painting, playing an instrument, or writing? Which things make them feel like they are in the flow? And could they do this for the rest of their life? 

Your child’s answers to these questions are related to their values. After all, we enjoy life more when our actions, behaviors and deeds are linked to our values. Values can also give your child clues about how they should lead their life in the future. If their values guide their career, they will enjoy what they do more. A lifestyle linked to values also protects your child from mental and physical illnesses because they secrete more happiness hormones. Now I want you to ask your child, in the last week, have they done anything connected to their values? How much time does this take up in their daily life? If they realize that they are not spending enough time on their values, you can suggest that they include more things related to their values in their daily lives. As they do this, they will feel more fulfilled, valued, peaceful and happy after a month or two.

 

Practice

Ask your child to choose 5 of the following words vital to them and rank them according to their priorities. These will show the values that are important to your child. You can then suggest they try to do something related to their values in small steps during this month. 

1____ EQUALITY (equal opportunity for all)

2____ INNER HARMONY (being at peace with oneself)

3____ HAVING SOCIAL POWER (being able to control others, being superior)

4____ ENJOYMENT (fulfillment and satisfaction of wants and desires)

5____ BEING FREE (freedom of thought and action)

6____ A SPIRITUAL LIFE (giving importance to spiritual, inner values rather than material values)

7____ FEELING OF COMMITMENT (the feeling that others feel the same way about him/her)

8____ WANTING TO MAINTAIN SOCIAL ORDER (law and order approach)

9____ HAVING AN EXCITING LIFE (full of stimulating experiences)

10___ A MEANINGFUL LIFE (having a purpose in life)

11___ TO BE COURTESY (to be polite, well-mannered)

12___ TO BE RICH (material wealth, money)

13___ NATIONAL SECURITY (protection of the country from enemies)

14___ SELF-RESPECT (the child believes that he/she is valuable)

15___ REPAYING THE GOOD (avoiding being indebted to someone else)

16___ BEING CREATIVE (being original, using imagination)

17___ WANTING A WORLD IN PEACE (a world free from war and contradictions)

18___ RESPECTING TRADITIONS (protection of old values and traditions)

19___ MATURE LOVE (deep emotional and spiritual intimacy)

20___ SELF-CONTROL (limiting oneself, resisting what is wrong)

21___ PRIVACY (the right to a private world)

22___ FAMILY SECURITY (keeping loved ones out of danger)

23___ TO BE ACCEPTED BY PEOPLE (respect and acceptance from others)

24___ BEING IN INTEGRITY WITH NATURE (harmony with nature)

25___ LIVING A CHANGING LIFE (full of competition, innovation)

26___ BEING VIRTUOUS (a mature understanding of life)

27___ OWNING AUTHORITY (having the right to manage and direct)

28___ TRUE FRIENDSHIP (close and supportive friendship)

29___ A WORLD FULL OF BEAUTY (the beauty of nature and art)

30___ SOCIAL JUSTICE (correcting injustice, standing up for the weak)

31___ TO BE SUCCESSFUL

32___ BEING HEALTHY (physical and mental health

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